What in the hell? Is there ever an end? I feel as if I have prayed for so many years for the pain to stop. I look back at where I’ve come from and where I am, and it surely was a stride; yet such a small step in the scheme of things.
The range of emotions wears so hard on the soul and I wonder when will there be a completely new reality, if ever.
I feel as if I am climbing up a steep mountain and once I gain a shred of confidence, something happens. I re-gain my strength, remove the obstacle, to the best of my ability, and before I put one foot in front of the other, there is another hindrance, or I just get knocked to my knees.
I know we are all broken people, and we all carry different types of burdens. Some of us carry heavy burdens for a short period of time, some carry a long duration of not so heavy burdens than the others. I don’t wonder why I have the burdens I have, except God is molding me for his purposes.
Searching for peace, I wonder when I will arrive? Or do I have peace and I’m just looking in the wrong place? What is a soul to do as we lift up our eyes to God for answers that he has already given us? What is the next step to a hint of solstice? Maybe it’s just the next small step to a stride.